Should sunscreen be banned?

I have always hated buying and wearing sunscreen and here is why.....

1. Do I buy "no ad" and look cheap or do I buy commercial and look dumb for paying extra?

2. If I do buy it when is the next time I am going to use this stuff? It could be a day or it could be months and plus I already have some at home.

3. "Hey man, can I get a little sunscreen?" No, I'm just going to let you burn, teach you a lesson for next time. Of course you can have some want to throw me a few bones? Oh wait I can't take payment for something that is costing me less than $1 but at the end of the day that bottle will be empty so I just spent $6 at BP for one days worth of protection from some UV rays. Next time I'm skipping the sunscreen and up grading to Corona.

4. SPF levels. They just confuse me. Do I want to go with a low level and burn or do I want to go with a high level and defeat the whole purpose of going to Ginny Springs.

5. Then if I buy it I have to put it on. That requires me to wait 30 minutes before going in the sun. I don't know what I am going to be doing in 30 minutes. Does anyone? Then once you decide to put it on comes the inevitable moment of asking someone to rub it on you back. If you are a guy you can't ask another guy but you don't want to ask the wrong girl and feel awkward.

The only thing worse than asking someone to rub sunscreen on your back is having someone ask you to put it on their back. You can't tell them them no when you are about to spend the next three hours floating down the river next to them but you really don't want to get your day started by rubbing Coppertone on someone else. In addition to getting to give a friend-zoner a public back rub who wants to get a different level SPF on their hands then have an unevenly matched sun tan.

Here is the solution; Ban Sun tan lotion. Either the human race will die off (in which case sunscreen will no longer be a problem) or the sun will finally back down and start taking orders from us.

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